“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” – Ps 19:14 "So many men make the mistake of thinking that the woman IS the adventure. But that is where the relationship immediately goes downhill. A woman doesn't want to be the adventure, she wants to be caught up into something greater than herself." --- Extract: 'Wild at Heart' - John Eldredge. Secret thoughts on Beauty What is it about this thing? What is it that draws my gaze, my thoughts, my being? I’ve read and know that beauty nourishes, it invigorates, inspires, uplifts and sets fireworks in the imagination. Ohhh, the imagination… and this is where we’re at – or, where I'm at, You see, the imagination… Here’s an ironical thought; imagine a world where people didn’t have an imagination. Could we live in a world like that? Now take this; imagine a world without beauty. Could anyone live in this kind of world? Think of everything that is not beautiful, and feel the corners of your mind shrivel, and the depths of soul shriek in agony. Our senses cannot live without avenues such as these. We need the nourishment for this journey. But, and here’s the thing, beauty has another side. Because we’re drawn to it so, and because our soul craves it, we can at times allow it to overwhelm. And it can consume, it can consume. It happens most with artists, when they search for the meaning, the depth of it, and they delve into it, exploring something we cannot understand. The risk is raised when Love steps in. Again, for the artist, love and passion is all entwined in it. And it seems and feels pure, when all these fine elements are interwoven within. But what happens when it’s projected, or when life’s happenings and emotions become entangled. It’s why when looking at famous artists in time we so often see their loved ones dragged down by these seemingly honest pursuits. It’s where we falter. Because deep down, when all these various glorious elements like love, beauty, passion and raw emotion are explored, we find that at the core is something quite fragile. And if we really want to go there, if we really want to delve deep, we’ll find that that fragility is tied to everything in this world. It speaks to our very existence, and the world we live in. And this is where it becomes dangerous, because so often, it is unbalanced. In this broken world, beauty was always bound to be abused, tormented and wrought under the talons of depravity as men try to control or capture this illusive something. And how pure intent can get warped Pity we have to grow old Pity we have to lose our childhood innocence. Naivety can be the saving of some, and the death of others. And so, when we shoehorn ourselves into an odd quest to preserve something pure and beautiful, we have to constantly guard ourselves. Think about this; a man looks at a beautiful woman – and what does he think? What thoughts play in his mind? What are his secret thoughts, his secret desires? Sometimes its not that hard to see when witnessing their facial expressions just passing a woman on the street. A man can voyage to save something pure, but what if he were told that he was the very threat to that purity. Could he stay away Some talk of a secret thought life. If we could wear these thoughts on our bodies, what would we look like? And so, we can see how easily it is to pervert something pure… As a writer, no, never mind that, I’ve always lived inside my mind. My father said I have an overactive imagination (which was one reason why I had nightmares as a child), but as an adult, it helps me create believable fantasy, or in most cases, believable fiction, or interweaving fiction with reality. My mind is my strongest quality, and with that, potentially my greatest strength. When I explore something, driven by passion, my mind leans on the obsessive side of my personality, and here’s where the danger comes in, speaking of consuming. I’ve been told I would make a good detective, due to this very dog-with-a-bone type quality. But, the consuming comes into it when I take on pseudo problems that have no solutions, or when trying to understand and work people out. People are our currency, our inspiration for story, our subjects, and when we don’t understand them…where are we to go? And guess what? All those elements I mentioned earlier; love, passion, beauty – can all be found and explored in the brokenness and fragility of us, People. This is the crux – we’re a simple fabric made with a complex thread. It elicits ecstasy and pain all the same because all this grows from our soul. So when it feels like its deep, it’s because it is just that, it’s exactly that. People tend to undersell it, or take it for granted. That’s why sex is on the same level as shopping for shoes. Beauty or more specifically, sex (as sexiness) is used as a bartering tool to sell objects. Flesh is sold. People are sold… and whether overtly or covertly, people even sell themselves. Reverence isn’t enough, or it’s sometimes too much. When it comes to our secret thoughts, it’s invariably a question of balance. So let me end on a note of hope, instead of a hope for the best but prepare for the worst, or a ‘where did everyone go wrong’ – So, there is a way back, for me it’s through the Almighty, because if you cannot contribute-to/give/unveil/preserve/protect/nurture beauty, then at least just, Let it be. The torment in our souls is due to the lack or failure in searching for something that cannot be found in this world. If you're wondering where all this is coming from, well, we preach only that which we ourselves need to learn. As a man and as a writer, I constantly seek to understand, and when something riles at my core, it falls under my microscope, specifically and intensely. Beauty is otherworldly, but to truly appreciate it, we must focus and grow closer to the creator of that beauty, lest we fall and find ourselves settling for inferior pleasures, or idolizing earthly things. It's where it all started, with pride and betrayal in the garden of Eden, and the struggle within man continues to this day. This is simply part and parcel of my endless quest for purity, in God's eyes. "Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul" - Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali [Images: via pinterest.com]
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Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's soul The accompanying piece to ‘Wild at Heart’, this time John Eldredge teams up with his wife Stasi in the writing department in pursuit of the heart of a woman, in all her feminine beauty. "Even to see her walk across the room is a liberal education." Synopsis “Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be the Beauty of the story. Those desires are far from child’s play. They are the secret to the feminine heart. The message of Captivating in this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. - What Wild at heart did for men, Captivating will do for women. Target Primarily women, some might say Christian women, but I believe women from any culture or religion can gather something from these pages. It is also a very handy read for men too, seeking to understand their woman, or just women in general a little more. In fact, most women that have read the book, implore men to read it too, just like women should read Wild at Heart. "She knew treachery' Bottom Line Admittedly, not being the direct intended target reader of this book, meant it took me a while to find a rhythm, a while to get going and find that groove you seek when reading any book (each one has their own). However, once I got into it, making the necessary readjustment, because as a man I’m reading this primarily as a learning exercise, I could then glean what I could and in some instances recognize where certain things could be applied to my own life. These are the type of books men want to read but seldom find the energy to do so, or perhaps they start but fail to finish it, so it is a small triumph that I managed it, though I’m not cracking any champagne bottles. This book tackles the issues of beauty and strength, and varying forms of such, as well as the modern woman and how her role, and the regard for her, has changed. But its more than that. It’s a wonder when looking at all the great stories of the world, that there are so few about heroic women (compared to men), though we know that were it not for women, those men would not have been around to achieve all those accomplishments, but is that it? Is that all women are for, to bring strong and courageous men into the world? NO! Of course not, the message is rather that in every story of greatness, women played an equally crucial role. If men be the reflection of God’s strength, then women are undoubtedly the reflection of God’s unparalleled beauty, in all its complex glory. "Beauty is Dangerous" [Image credits: nbcLatino.com, flickr, russianwomentruth.com, wallsave.com, "womens-league", "asian-women-hairstyles"] In fact, so beautiful was she, that the first man, Adam, actually chose her over God; but he would discover that nothing can compare, nothing can satisfy the hunger of his soul for what God is and has… that deep spiritual yearning we all carry – no material thing can satisfy a spiritual need. The two are separate yet can be connected; in that a man and a woman in marriage become one in spirit, but God always comes first, because he's the creator of ALL, he created both man and woman, and if we are to seek our purpose in life, we must look to the creator for guidance, not other creations... A large portion of this book is aimed at marriage and the relationship between the man and woman, but focussing on how the roots take shape to form a strong bond – that is to say how women deal with their lives before entering marriage (the same goes with guys) and even how to get the best out of their husbands (for those already married). This may all seem unromantic in approach, but I assure you, reading this, and other books like it, will only highlight how romantic God really is, and how much of heaven has been imprinted on this earth. There are lessons in this book that can be learnt and re-learnt as many have claimed, and I concur, that this is a book that can be read several times. We were meant to delight in the splendour of a woman’s beauty, their allure, their intricate mysticism and complicated nature… but the world (devoid of the Spirit) would and does abuse this. Women, who are meant to be man’s equal, are subject to exploitation and depravity, where beauty is a thing to be bartered and traded. Yet, as I’ve re-learnt here; beauty is alive, it is nurturing, and it is has the ability to grow, to enlighten, enliven and invigorate. How many men have gone to war for beauty, to show off their valour, even with humble intent? How many times has your spirits been lifted at the sight of something beautiful? Beauty can soften a hardened heart and break down barriers, but it can also awaken the primal beast in men, hungry with insatiable desire. Beauty has the ability to evoke strength in those who gaze upon it, and to instil resolve and life, even if that life is simply the basic quickening of the pulse. And, you know what, we need beauty. It’s in our DNA? What would the world look like without it? What would the world be like without the enchanting presence of a woman? "Beauty overwhelms us, enchants us, fascinates us, and calls us" We, as men, are drawn to beauty, because that’s what it does, it attracts, but as men, real men, our duty is to ensure that we avail our strength (and protection) and also ensure that it is always enabled to flourish, because if not, then beauty can also wither and grow dormant. This happens far too often, but there's still hope of that beauty being rekindled to return to its passionate freedom. In Wild at heart it was said that there are two kinds of women; one who is like the Caribbean, and the other like the North Atlantic Sea… but only one of them requires a real man. Captivating attempts to awaken what’s at the heart of every woman (but in the process also educates men as to their role to play). It may take things from a Christian vantage point, even criticizing the church for stunting and suppressing the role of women, but the principles can be applied universally. I highly recommend this bestseller, whether you're man, but especially if you're a woman! 4/5 "Show me your face,let me hear your voice; For your voice is sweet and your face is lovely." You belong among the wildflowers You belong in a boat out at sea You belong with your love on your arm You belong somewhere you feel free - Tom Petty For my book review of "Wild at Heart", click HERE "Discovering the secret of a man's soul." This is NOT something that can be done by reading ONE book, but it's a journey of discovery to be traveled and learned over a lifetime. John Eldredge though, goes some way in attempting to figure out what really makes men tick, and what is at our core. Although there are inconsistencies, and he does take liberties with scripture and context, he still manages to hit the mark, going some way in setting those foundations (or re-setting them) of a real man. Synopsis What happens to our boyhood dreams "beating the bad guys... and rescuing the damsel in distress"? John Eldredge looks to highlight the plight of the modern christian man, sitting in the church pews, bored. Wild at heart invites men to rediscover the true passion at the heart of God, simultaneously inviting women to learn the true secret of a man's soul. Target All men who consider themselves real men, should read this. It's not so much about being the tough guy, but it is about discovering true masculinity. So those men who are after God's own heart, if you wish to understand yourself, and him, a bit better, this book sure helps. Bottom Line So yes, I did question some of the context of a few scriptures, which I won't go into here - the lesson there though is: whenever you hear someone, or read a quoted scripture, be sure to check the Bible to confirm the context and how that scripture is being applied, as apposed to how it is being used. That aside (it comprises just a few niggles here and there), the greater message is not lost, far from it: the message of how a christian man should go about discovering what he is made of and what is at his core. I've always known, or ever since my father taught me, that to find the purpose of a creation, one should check with the inventor, the creator... in this instance, the creation is us, and the creator - GOD. So, to find our purpose we should by rights inquire with... But there's much more to this book, which strikes at the reason's for why men have strayed from masculinity, what is required of us in the modern world. It looks at the role of our fathers and the deep set wounds we all bear. "Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight" "The trajedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives." I agree with Eldredge when he says that there's something wrong with society (above and beyond all the other problems with it), that men are required less and less, what with the advent of the 'metrosexual', 'getting in touch with your feminine side' et al. not to mention the lack of honorable father figures in society. Somewhere along the line, the need for masculinity has dwindled, and we as men of God, need to reclaim it. I recommend this book for the simple reason that it has got a relevant message and that inevitably, you will glean something useful from it. Whether it's that you actually learn something new, or are reminded of a truth you already knew - there's something here for every man, christian or not - and of course, women should read it too, to gain a better understanding of your man, or the man you desire, and how you can be part of a journey of adventure... to play a crucial role in an epic story (This is not bashing the 'independent woman' - but attempts to explain why there is this complex, due to the lack of respect for women - it's all related. Note: There's another book by Eldridge and his wife Stacy called 'Captivating - Unveiling the mystery of a women's soul' which I'm currently reading). By my reckoning, if Elderedge's intent is to draw men (any and all) closer to God and aid them in realizing their purpose and living the life God wants them to lead, then despite the niggles, I believe he succeeds. This book certainly found me at the right time as it answered some questions that have been sitting on my heart! God Bless. A Return to the Wilderness, Part 1 I write this whilst mentally planning for a hike. Hopefully this time next week I’ll be writing from the proverbial “other side” of that mountain. It doesn’t seem like much I know, like making a fuss over something hundreds, if not thousands have done before me, and more still will do after, but allow me to put things in context… For the last few years I’ve been telling people that I’ve written a book, and only one person really, beyond a shadow of a doubt can back me up on that claim, yes my family has seen snippets as well as some friends and professionals I’ve networked with, but largely, it remains a feat that for the most part people just have to take on my word. But that doesn’t say much. On this journey I’ve seemingly gone about things in my own way – backwards that is… Leon Uris wrote that to be a writer we have to acknowledge within ourselves that we’re either insane or very naïve; this I have discovered over and over again. Can I compete with the best out there? Is my work good enough (even as I work constantly to improve it)? Do people actually want to hear what I have to say? – And on that note: What exactly do I have to say that warrants such an endeavour? - These are questions every writer faces. Inevitably, I’ve also learned that we preach about what we ourselves need to learn, and that, is what I’ve been doing for the last few years (in the very least anyway), learning. Which brings me back to the mountain; I was once asked how it is that I’m such a good climber (referring in that instance to rock climbing) – truthfully I’m not that great at it, but let’s just say that I’m “contextually adept”… this was when I first started, and as a beginner my reply was: “I guess I was always a rock climber in my mind, except that physically, I just wasn’t. So then, when I eventually got the opportunity, it all sort of felt natural” – this is something I’ve been working to apply to my writing career as well, because once you actually make that huge leap, or take the first step/hold on that first climb, are you really what you claim to be, what you believe yourself to be? That is where Faith creeps into the reckoning. Needless to say we all have our personal journey and have to travel it and negotiate its challenges in our own way. The Spiritual life cannot be made suburban. It is always frontier, and we who live in it must accept and even rejoice that it remains untamed. I’ve been doing some interesting reading of late, earnestly this time (the first real reading, that wasn’t specified research of some kind, since I started writing my book), from books that have appealed to me personally (one of which I reviewed a couple of weeks back). The one I’m currently about to finish is titled ‘Wild at Heart’ about defining, seeking and understanding the true heart of a man. It’s a book every man, or anyone who calls himself one, should read. I’ll zero in on one thing though… that of the wilderness. You see, within the heart of the true man lies the desire to explore, to be the frontiersman and lay foot upon unbroken ground, to return to the wild. It’s interesting that when people do this (not just men), they inexplicably relate the experience as being something akin to spiritual, because in reality, it is our spiritual home. So if you acknowledge the spirit within a man, within yourself, then you must realize that that Spirit, is in fact wild as well. The flesh is weak and confining and finite, but the spirit is unrestricted and strong and eternal, but only if we embrace it. Take the Bible for what it is physically – a book – and in this book of stories from many writers there is a tale of when God made Adam (in the wilderness) and brought him into the Garden of Eden (where he made Eve)… the point being this: there is a reason why men often put up pictures of untamed landscapes in their house or office, and it is about way more than simply beauty. It is the CALL of the wild, beckoning him to come home, and re-energize for his daily battles. Incidentally, the Bible also states that our spirit is our direct link to God (if you take it as more than just a book of stories). (It begs the question: where does this spiritual realm come from?) Your spirit is wild, which is why so many choose to ignore it, or don’t acknowledge it at all, because it is also dangerous, but it remains the key to you coming alive. So, I’m heading up to a mountain (along with over a dozen other brave souls, male and female), into that wintery cold, clouds and snow, to in some way symbolically cap off or underscore this mini chapter in my life – which just so happens to coincide with the near completion of the third draft of my novel (which I’ve renamed Peacekeeper – about a man who discovers what it really takes to fight the battles he faces, even when he doesn’t see it coming, when he’s alone and outmatched). The true heart of man is not a mere fleshy pump in his chest, but is in, and is, his spirit and the exploration of the vast untamed mystery of this creation we like to call life. Yes, there will be splendor, but there will also be pain lurking in that dangerous unknown, this is a battle after all. I pity those who think less of it… but there is always hope. Part of it is living on the border between life and death, or living on the border between the material and immaterial, and learning how to apply that spiritual world, to the natural of everyday. Getting back to the wild then, is about getting back to the frontier for easier access into the transcendent part of ourselves which is more than elemental. For me, personally, it’s about getting closer to God. Watch This trailer in FULL Screen mode. These Guys are just as crazy - I admire them because I suck at slack-lining and I've never attempted highlining, and wish I could do those things, but I cannot, and I cannot condone this either, even though its cool! - Leave it to the Frenchies! |
[Banner illustration by Joel Kanar]
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